23:32

''I guess you could say I'm cautious, or a coward.''

11.32 PM Of 23 May 2011

i've decided to free myself from all these unhappiness. i've been suffocating for the past 5weeks and i seriously think that i might go insane one day. its like your emotions taking over control of your mind. you just can't think properly and can't function well. i mean literally can't function well, losing appitite; losing smiley face and can't focus well on what is actually good for you.

i thought i was strong enough to fix it myself. i thought everything will be back to normal, but its just impossible. its like i am not so ''logical'' anymore, thus making me feel like a mood-swing woman. i believed i have several ''victims'' that were affected by it. i'm totally apologetic about it.

hey, i'm aware that its affecting our friendship somehow. and i totally hate it. why am i so vulnerable in controlling my emotions. i don't know what is the best solution to solve this difficult situation. i guess being honest is the only way to free myself and spare you from all these bullshit you're getting from me.

i definitely have a lot to tell you, you're my good friend. its just ironic when you're the main cause and i can't turn into you and this sucks ): after 5 weeks of torture, i'm glad i took this step and make an effort to save our friendship. i would be greatly appreciate you if you intend to do your part as a friend!

give me time and we'll be back to normal. i believe i can overcome this. few years down the road, i will be thinking WHAT THE HELL was i thinking at that point of time? and by then, we both will be laughing at it together. hahaha..

:) happy lalala

我要快乐

No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change.


我想要快乐但是心如刀割，
我想要梦想但是不切实际。


我想要自由但是谈何容易。
我想要叛逆但是力不从心。


很多时候我想要告诉自己，
坚强，坚定是可以克服的。
认认真真面对自己的时候，
才发现这两个字眼好困难。


没有人告诉面临困境的我，
怎么继续往前勇敢的前进。
一个人的时候是该成长了，
必须成为一个独立的勇士。


勇士的责任是保护自己的心，
不准让任何人摧毁，糟蹋。
没有允许是不能有任何人进出的。
勇士阿，勇士阿，
请你要捍卫好这脆弱的小心灵，
不让她有任何的伤害。


it's my heart that i am protecting. i'm a little warrior, i'm strong and mighty! i believe in myself like how my besties do. LOVE you babes.

a note to me.

he told me, i purposely left you for a few days and seems that you're getting stronger.
indeed i became stronger but i do feel vulnerable at times.
i can say that i am perfectly fine when i'm not.
i once said its my heart that i am protecting,
somehow i feel that i may not have the ability to do so.
its not up to one to decide,
to keep it or give it away.

June is coming,
a new chapter of life will begin.
A new month , a new start.
all the best angela.

i guess i have to fight it all by myself.
i started this, i need to end this.


angela

hey there

what can you do when your good isn’t good enough?
and all that you touch tumbles down.

你我的不同

以为故作坚强是保护自己的方法，

我错了，现在的我遍体鳞伤。

以为假装不在乎你是最佳的选择，

我错了，现在感到后悔莫及。

以为掩饰脆弱是想要挽回些什么，

我错了，现在和你更遥远。

原来最难过的不是我们不再说话谈心，

而是那些已经变成了很遥远的事情。

你可以轻易的忘掉，你可以继续前进。

我和你不同，我好像坠入漩涡。

一直想要逃离，好慌，好怕。

一个人是可以活得精彩，

‘这是给坚强的人说的。’

现在的我，还不行。

LOVE

Its pretty amazing how love works.
LOVE is just a four letter word, it could fill me up or drains me out.

love changes everything.
one could  pretend to be happy in order to make another person comfortable.
one could stop tearing knowing that there are people who loves you, and you don't feel so alone.
one could feel the warmth given by a complete stranger, that's amazing when you've just met the person and yet he's like the one who knows you thoroughly
one could accept reality when she's being forced to, that's all because of love.

i love my family
i love my sisters
i love my gang
i love myself ! hohoho

geelaa  xD

everywhere.

Turn it inside out so I can see 
The part of you that's drifting over me 
And when I wake you're, you're never there 
But when I sleep you're, you're everywhere 
You're everywhere 

Just tell me how I got this far 
Just tell me why you're here and who you are 
'Cause every time I look 
You're never there 
And every time I sleep 
You're always there 

'Cause you're everywhere to me 
And when I close my eyes it's you I see 
You're everything I know 
That makes me believe 
I'm not alone 
I'm not alone 

I recognize the way you make me feel 
It's hard to think that 
You might not be real 
I sense it now, the water's getting deep 
I try to wash the pain away from me 
Away from me 

'Cause you're everywhere to me 
And when I close my eyes it's you I see 
You're everything I know 
That makes me believe 
I'm not alone 
I'm not alone 

I am not alone 
Whoa, oh, oooh, oh 

And when I touch your hand 
It's then I understand 
The beauty that's within 
It's now that we begin 
You always light my way 
I hope there never comes a day 
No matter where I go 
I always feel you so 

'Cause you're everywhere to me 
And when I close my eyes it's you I see 
You're everything I know 
That makes me believe 
I'm not alone 
'Cause you're everywhere to me 
And when I catch my breath 
It's you I breathe
You're everything I know 
That makes me believe 
I'm not alone 

You're in everyone I see 
So tell me 
Do you see me?