Monday, 23 May 2011

23:32

''I guess you could say I'm cautious, or a coward.''
11.32 PM Of 23 May 2011

i've decided to free myself from all these unhappiness. i've been suffocating for the past 5weeks and i seriously think that i might go insane one day. its like your emotions taking over control of your mind. you just can't think properly and can't function well. i mean literally can't function well, losing appitite; losing smiley face and can't focus well on what is actually good for you.

i thought i was strong enough to fix it myself. i thought everything will be back to normal, but its just impossible. its like i am not so ''logical'' anymore, thus making me feel like a mood-swing woman. i believed i have several ''victims'' that were affected by it. i'm totally apologetic about it.

hey, i'm aware that its affecting our friendship somehow. and i totally hate it. why am i so vulnerable in controlling my emotions. i don't know what is the best solution to solve this difficult situation. i guess being honest is the only way to free myself and spare you from all these bullshit you're getting from me.

i definitely have a lot to tell you, you're my good friend. its just ironic when you're the main cause and i can't turn into you and this sucks ): after 5 weeks of torture, i'm glad i took this step and make an effort to save our friendship. i would be greatly appreciate you if you intend to do your part as a friend!

give me time and we'll be back to normal. i believe i can overcome this. few years down the road, i will be thinking WHAT THE HELL was i thinking at that point of time? and by then, we both will be laughing at it together. hahaha..

:) happy lalala

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